These commercials freak me out

www.thewaytohappiness.org

but what if i want to steal, murder, do something illegal, or cheat on my spouse?

praise allah there is a commercial to tell me not to do those things.

It's just like those truth ads.

They don't make me want to stop smoking.

Instead, they remind me that it's about time to light up another one.

and come on. if my ear is sewed up with lies, I'd rather keep it that way than have my ear

brutally cut open by a dull truth blade.

smoke on, smoker friends, smoke on.

This Man Loves His Balls

and frankly, I just can't get into it

leave the worms, the brains, and the blood.

you know all you want is a hamburger.

stop fooling yourself

Balls aren't as great as you make them seem. 

The True Mavericks

Dumbledore/McGonagall '08

Bringing the Magic back to Democracy.

I have No Reservations

about my love for anthony bourdain. 

Simply because, he knows what's important in life

1) Booze

2) Cigarettes (especially after boozin)

3) Tattoos (especially after boozin)

4) Witty Banter (increasingly witty with booze)

5) A love of travel (as long as you go somewhere with booze)

6) An Appreciation of good food (accompanied with some fine booze)

7) Friends of quality and quantity (sharing booze)

8) Tee-shirts and sunglasses (with a bottle of booze in hand)

9) Having enough balls to do what you want in life. (even if it takes some booze to lower your guard)

10) Having a fucking good time in whatever you do. (because after all that booze, who wouldn't have a damn good time?)

 

Anthony Bourdain: The Way Life Should Be

14 things you know you listened to

Come on, if you are somewhat around my legal age of 21, I know you grew up listening to this music. So let's get a little nostalgic and a little angsty. Julie's Teenage Years Greatest Hits, take one (song, band, emotional memorable lyric).

1) 'Chop Suey' - System of a Down

"I cry when angels deserve to die"

2) 'Stitches' - Orgy

"I mean fucking you is strange and adored by me throughout

Oh no, it's you again"

3) 'Youth of the Nation' - POD

"We are, we are, the youth of the nation"

4) 'Numb' - Linkin Park

"i'm tired of being what you want me to be

feeling so faithless

lost under the surface"

5) 'Cross out the Eyes' - Thursday

"And the morning dove gets caught in the telephone wire"

6) 'Screaming Infidelities' - Dashboard Confessional

"I'll sit alone and wonder

how you're making out

But as for me, I wish that I was anywhere

with anyone

making out"

7) 'I'd do anything' - Simple Plan

"Another day is going by, 

I'm thinking about you all the time

But you're out there

And I'm here waiting"

8) 'The Anthem' - Good Charlotte

"But my high school

felt more to me

like a jail cell

a penitentiary"

9) 'Seventy Times 7' - Brand New

"Cuz I've seen more spine in jellyfish

Seen more guts in 11 year old kids"

10) 'Nookie' - Limp Bizkit

"I did it all for the Nookie"

11) 'You're so Last Summer' - Taking Back Sunday

"Boys like you are a dime a dozen"

12) 'Without Me' - Eminem

"I know that you gotta job Mz Cheney

But your husband's heart problem's complicating!"

13) ' Fat Lip' - Sum 41

"Trashed my own house party 

Because nobody came!"

14) 'All the Small Things' - Blink 182

"Say it ain't so, I will not go"

Life was easier when music was shitty

Let's rock.

Denmark: Not so Copenhappy

Hell's Angels. They aren't a myth. They aren't a bad reality TV series. They are reality. And a pretty big deal in....Denmark.

Of all places of all the gangs in the world Hell's Angels could pick, they chose Denmark to establish their motorcycle mayhem dominance. 

How did this happen? I don't understand. This doesn't make any more sense than Sarah Palin as Vice President. It's strange and wrong on inexplicable levels.

Click here to read (in french) about the sheer rawness of Danemark's Angels.

ALL THE MAVERICKS IN THE HOUSE

PUT YOUR HANDS UP 

if mz maverick had rapped this herself, i would seriously erase the number-#2-pencil-filled-in bubble of my absentee ballot (which currently next to the name of the great barack) and change it to the russian lipstick queen.